Hello world!

Okay, so…

doing this wordpress thing now, it seems a bit more community friendly, who knows how it’ll work.

I’m going to play with it now.

Self talk.

Hey. This blog will probably be boring to anyone besides myself, but I felt the need earlier to jot some things down…. and according to me, if I ever feel an actual urge to write it, it has to be blogged.
so, without further ado~

I want to be:

• the kind of mom who makes special dinners for Valentines Day.
• the one who actually decorates for Valentines Day and other not-so-significant holidays.
• the one whose children can’t wait to come home to new seasonal decor. Might sound silly, but I always felt a thrill coming home to see Indian corn hanging by the door, or bunnies in the window, or pine boughs on the fence.
• the kind of neighbor and housekeeper who can invite people in spontaneously
• the kind of person who lives her spirituality. who has peace. who sees the humor in life and the big picture.

All of this seems almost trivial today, writing it. And overemphasizing things like housekeeping and messiness…. I wonder if it’s some of the cult mentality still haunting me. I don’t want to use that as an excuse, because, seriously, I do have issues with organization and tidiness. For goodness sake, I still have my Christmas tree up and it’s February 15th. Geez. I can do better than that.

One good thing. Looks like I’m finally getting an idea of what I want to be. This isn’t coming from a neat freak husband or a pampered pulpit preacher. I’m realizing that I’m a better person, and a happier person, when things are better organized. Jinkies. Is this growing up a little? Hmm.

Typical, really…

Hi.

So today should be pretty busy… I’m getting my hair done at… crap. 11:45.
Which means I don’t have time to blog, ha.

Jumping in the shower. I’ll post pics of my fabulous hair later, perhaps.

Um. No.

For women, nothing’s like the smell of men’s sweat

By Will Dunham2 hours, 28 minutes ago

For women, apparently there’s nothing like the smell of a man’s sweat.

Researchers at the University of California at Berkeley said women who sniffed a chemical found in male sweat experienced elevated levels of an important hormone, along with higher sexual arousal, faster heart rate and other effects.

They said the study, published this week in the Journal of Neuroscience, represents the first direct evidence that people secrete a scent that influences the hormones of the opposite sex.
The study focused on androstadienone, considered a male chemical signal. Previous research had established that a whiff of it affected women’s mood, sexual and physiological arousal and brain activation. Its impact on hormones was less clear.

A derivative of testosterone, it is found in male sweat as well as in saliva and semen. It smells somewhat musky.
“It really tells us that a lot of things can be triggered by smelling sweat,” Claire Wyart, who led the study, said in an interview on Wednesday.

The researchers measured levels of the hormone cortisol in the saliva of 48 female undergraduates at Berkeley, average age of about 21, after the women took 20 sniffs from a jar of androstadienone. Cortisol is secreted by the body to help maintain proper arousal and sense of well-being, respond to stress and other functions.

Cortisol levels in the women who smelled androstadienone shot up within roughly 15 minutes and stayed elevated for up to an hour. Consistent with previous research, the women also reported improved mood, higher sexual arousal, and had increased blood pressure, heart rate and breathing.

Here I go again…

Hiiiii. So.

Here I go again, trying to get my life into some measure of control. After having spent last night with a bunch of people who were completely OUT of control (and who didn’t seem to mind…), I decided that I truly need to add a little discipline to my own existence.

Now don’t get me wrong, to the casual observer I’m quite responsible and grown up. …I think…

well, unless they see the inside of my car. ha. yeah that gives some folks a clue as to my true person.

If it’s as they say, that who you are when you’re all alone is who you really are, then oops I’m a mess. I lived a life for too long that was all about appearances. In doing so, I think I started to forget the real reasons for doing things. Like personal satisfaction of a job well done. For example… and here’s where I have the most problems, and really always have… If someone is coming over to my house, I’ll get it all neat and pretty, but only after 10 hours of slaving, because I haven’t cleaned in the past month. or two. or however long since the last visitor. Ugh. Thinking about it gets me all stressy.

I have a feeling I’m rambling a bit, but I’m just going to go with it.

So. What I’d like to do is come up with some sort of schedule wherein my house remains in a presentable state. I have drop-in sort of neighbors, and I’m tired of having to barricade my front door with my bod so that they can’t see in. It gets tiring to have to worry about it.

Yeah I’m rambling.

I’ve made a schedule for tomorrow, which includes downtime. If I go by it, then tomorrow at this time I’ll be able to tell you that my house is semi-clean. Which would be so nice. The girls rooms should be done, and the downstairs should at least have been swept and picked up.

Cross your fingers for me. I’m lacking faith that I’ll complete it, somehow. History, maybe? Dunno.

I’ll report back.

I think this whole blog was a waste of time. But here’s a pic that reminds me of fun stuff.

Spooky Appliance Picture of the Day

late incoherence

yeah so…
forgot the camera, but I was a pretty lil maiden. didn’t feel like taking pics of myself once I got home, so poor one reader will have to use the ole imagination.

currently procrastinating: going to bed. not sure why.
depositing money in la bank. again, go figure on the reasoning.

bah. tired. bedtime.

eek.

15-hour work day today.
Bringing my camera to document all weird giddyness that will happen due to excessive sleepyness and hangoverage.

All I can think about right now is all the ways th…

All I can think about right now is all the ways that I suck as a person.
Hate times like this.

Bond girl!

Ha, look at me, I’m shooting a gun for the very first time!
Not sure how Johnny talked me into this one, really, but somehow he did. I kinda thought I might be good at it, and yay, I didn’t suck!

Totally mugging here, bad form and all, with the whole leaning back thing. Purely for picture taking purposes, as proof that I actually shot it.

Yep, with the .22, my first time.

Either I’m good, or Johnny just kept telling me that I was, so I wouldn’t give up.
Regardless, I’m proud of myself for attempting it.

That’s all for now, I have a feeling I’ll be back.
I have spooky appliance pictures to share…